dude i'm inner monologue high
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
