I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i came on her dog
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
