The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
oh god was she eating orange peels again
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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