Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
