Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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