Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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