did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
