so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
