I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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