If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
