look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Randomize
