Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
