Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
