Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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