My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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