it hurts more in the daytime
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
So squirting runs in the family.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
