I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
