so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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