I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
