This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
this beer tastes like vomit already
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
