O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
