idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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