Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
