im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize