Michael Bay diarrhea
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
