Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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