I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
