4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
