Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
