Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
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