just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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