the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
