i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
