I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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