it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
