i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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