Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
