someone owes me an orgasm
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Randomize
