i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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