I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
