You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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