Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
