Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
