I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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