4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
