? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
