does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I can't turn off my feet"
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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