Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
