i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Randomize
