my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
