After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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