the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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